The Burden of Endurance Read online

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  A Message From R. L. Blalock

  More Books By R. L. Blalock

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  About The Author

  This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, and events in this book are the product of the author’s imagination or are used factiously. Any similarities to real people, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

  Copyright 2017 by R. L. Blalock

  All rights reserved. Neither this book, nor any parts within it may be sold or reproduced without permission.

  Proofing by Lana Mowry and Becky Stephens

  Cover art by RobErto

  For every little girl

  who wants to live a life among the stars.

  Chapter 1

  I slammed my fists down on the table in front of me. “I don’t know!”

  The five men standing around me didn’t flinch. They continued to stare at me impassively as if I were a toddler and they were waiting for a tantrum to pass. The commanders shifted when I continued to stare back at them.

  We were in a large conference room aboard the Endurance, our home. The Endurance wasn’t just our home. It had been the home of all of humanity for centuries, at least until a few days ago.

  The commanders of the twenty-sixth and thirty-second cycles regarded me with blatant disdain. Conversely, the commanders of the second and forty-fifth cycles stared at me with great interest, like I was a specimen to be studied, not a human like them. Though, I guess it wasn’t entirely inaccurate. Commander Parsons of the tenth cycle, my own commander, rubbed his face in exasperation. As far as he was concerned, I had burned my bridge with him.

  “Laure”—Parsons looked at me and flinched away from my appearance—“we are trying to help you. You need to help us understand—”

  “I can’t help you understand something that I don’t understand myself. If I knew more, I would tell you, but I don’t. Why won’t you believe me?” My nostrils flared as I struggled to keep my anger under control.

  The room was silent. The commanders had been questioning me for hours about the Chroin, the massive cybernetic wildlife of Iotova. The gigantic beasts were the perfect combination of organic life and technology. How they worked, though, was still a mystery to us. All we knew was that they existed, and they did not welcome us to their home. At least, most of them didn’t.

  Do you need me? the voice tickled at my mind.

  I shook my head. No, stay where you are. I could feel Kuna’s unease, even though he was miles away. I’m fine. We’re just talking. They just…don’t understand.

  I’m here with you. Kuna’s presence wrapped around my mind like a warm blanket. Unlike his Chroin brethren, Kuna and I had formed a strange bond that meant our very beings were now intertwined.

  “Laure!”

  I jolted at the shout of my own name. Parsons glared down at me, his face flush. I still wasn’t used to having another voice in my head. I couldn’t juggle the internal and external conversations at the same time.

  “I’m sorry.” I leaned forward, resting my head in my hands. “There are just…too many voices. When Kuna speaks, I can’t hear anything else.”

  “We need you to stay focused,” Parsons snapped. “Your life depends on it.” My eyes jerked up to meet his, waiting for him to continue with the threat. It wasn’t the first, and I doubted it would be the last, but these men governed my life. They had the authority to make good on their threats.

  After only a few seconds, Parsons broke the staring contest. I had known he would. No one liked to look into my eyes. Two pools of black as dark as the depths of space. Until a few days ago, they had been grey-green. They had looked normal. Then I met Kuna, and everything changed.

  “All our lives are in danger,” Commander Aldone said gently. He spoke slowly, considering each word before he spoke it.

  As commander of the second cycle, he was one of the oldest Endurance commanders. His hair was silvery grey, and deep grooves were etched into the corners of his mouth and forehead. He looked younger than his true age, but everyone did. A lifetime spent in hibernation without the harshness of a planet’s atmosphere and gravity did that to the body.

  I nodded. “I know.”

  “If these Chroin—the wild as you call them—keep returning, we won’t be able to continue to fend them off. We’ve barely held them at bay as it is. We need better weapons.”

  I nodded again. “Yes, sir.”

  “With the armory still inaccessible, we don’t have many options. The shuttles have some weapons, but the ammunition they carry is limited. Some of the ATVs have weapons, but they don’t have the amount of ammunition that the shuttles carry.” Aldone scratched at his chin as he thought for a moment. “We don’t have many options. We could try to pack up and move. But that would mean leaving the Endurance behind, and we haven’t woken all the colonists yet. I’m not keen on abandoning them. I assume the rest of you aren’t either.” He looked to the other commanders. They quickly responded with a shake of their heads.

  “I didn’t think so, which leaves us with our last option. Stand and fight. We can’t fight without weapons and ammunition, though.” He turned to me, his gaze locking with mine. He didn’t shy away from my black eyes. He didn’t turn away from my opalescent mauve skin. He didn’t flinch at the violet hair that now grew from my scalp. He looked squarely at me, assessing my worth. “Unless we can raise an army. A new army.”

  For a moment, I simply blinked back at him. “You want me to make an army for you?”

  Aldone nodded. “If we are going to survive, we need you. We need more like you. I’d like you to take a group of volunteers and create more Chroin like yourself.”

  “I’m not Chroin,” I responded automatically. I could have kicked myself for the harsh tone I took with Aldone. He had listened to me. Been kind to me. Treated me like any other colonist. The last thing I needed to do was be rude to him. “I am a human just like you.”

  “That’s right.” Aldone nodded, unfazed. “You’re right. What I meant is we need you to create more Chroin pairs like yourself and…”

  “Kuna,” I supplied.

  “Kuna,” he confirmed. “We need you to create an army that can fight for us. Defend us from the wild. Can you do that?”

  I gnawed on my lip as I thought. “Can I have a moment to speak to Kuna?”

  Parsons opened his mouth to protest, but Aldone cut him off. “Of course.” He leaned back in his chair, giving me space for my thoughts.

  The commanders want us to raise them an army, I told Kuna.

  An army?

  An army like us, I said shakily. Do you think we can do it? Bond more colonists with the Chroin?

  Kuna was silent for a moment, but I felt his thoughts roiling around. If we were able to bond, then others should be able to as well.

  Are you all right with doing this? I asked tentatively.

  Yes. Kuna didn’t hesitate to answer. We can make the others well.

  Then I will tell them that we will raise their army.

  I turned back to Aldone. He leaned forward in his chair. “What is the verdict?”

  “Kuna and I will raise your army.” I clasped my hands together to hide the shaking. This was a monumental task. If we failed, my species could perish altogether.

  “How can you be sure that Kuna is on board with this?” Parsons asked.

  “He said so. He…” I searched for the right words. “When he sees the other Chroin, the wild, he i
s sad. Not because he is fighting them, but because they are sick. The connection is what will make them well. He wants to make more of them well like he is now.”

  Parsons seemed to accept the answer begrudgingly.

  “Well, then. Does anyone else have any objections?” Aldone asked, looking to his fellow commanders. Though some of them looked like they wanted to object, none did. “Good! Let’s go talk with the colonists and see if we can get some volunteers.”

  “Do you think anyone will actually volunteer?” The words left my lips before I could stop them.

  Aldone smiled at me. “Well, we won’t know until we ask.”

  Chapter 2

  The shadow of the Endurance covered the whole crowd and stretched far beyond. The ship was a monstrous meshwork of pieces. Each piece had a purpose, but the drive for function had left it looking like a long, misshapen tube. The crash had not been kind to it, either. Whatever beauty the ship had possessed had been lost as it reared up out of the long swath of scorched earth it had left on Iotova.

  I leaned against Kuna’s leg, taking comfort in his nearness as the other colonists gathered around. Thousands of eyes bored into us. Whispers floated through the air, their indistinct words creating a miasma of speculation.

  I closed my eyes, trying to block out everything. I knew why they stared. I knew why they were afraid and even hateful. I might have been too if it had been someone other than me.

  Kuna was tense beside me. Every muscle in his lean body was ready to react. My hands glided over his soft mauve skin. Though his skin was as soft as silk, the muscles underneath were hard and wiry.

  He bent down, gently nuzzling my head with his own. His pointed nose snuffled my hair, blowing it around. I reached up, running my hands across his muzzle and up the rest of his triangular face and along the protective frill that covered his neck. Dagger-like teeth as long as my arm poked out from underneath his lips, but I was not afraid of them. With a massive paw and razor-sharp claws, Kuna gently pulled me close, taking comfort in my presence the same way I took comfort in his. His tail wrapped around us protectively, the sharp spine at the end relaxing against my foot.

  I blew out a breath, preparing myself to deal with people who had shown me nothing but hate since the change. People who wouldn’t look at me despite the fact that, until a few days ago, they considered me their friend.

  As I glanced over the crowd, I picked out Cern, my best friend. The person I had trusted most. The person I had been in love with. The person who had loved me. The person who didn’t even think I was human anymore. I straightened myself a bit, holding myself tall.

  Bastard, Kuna muttered. The single word brought a smile to my lips.

  “Thank you for gathering here,” Aldone’s voice boomed across the crowd of three thousand colonists. The other commanders stood behind him, silently backing what he was about to say. “There have been a lot of changes in these past few days, and there are a lot more to come as we settle on Iotova.” The crowd began to hush as they listened to him. Though the colonists listened to his words, I still felt their eyes on me. “We have found Iotova to be less inviting than we had hoped. While the planet has everything we need to survive, the wildlife here is incredibly hostile.”

  The Chroin had come the first night after the crash of the Endurance. The herd had flooded over the plain like a tidal wave of claws. We had fought to drive them off, but they had been everywhere. They worked together to coordinate their attacks and overwhelm us. Yet, somehow, we had survived. Barely.

  Aldone looked over his shoulder at me. “But through a bit of good fortune, we have found that we can coexist. However, coexistence will take time. Until then, we need to protect ourselves from the attacks we have suffered.

  “The truth is that our weapons have been damaged. A large number of them were destroyed when the Endurance landed on Iotova. Repairs to them will take time, and creating new ones will take even longer. We don’t have time to wait. Laure and Kuna were invaluable in protecting the Endurance and our lives during last night’s attack. The other commanders and I have asked her to help. We need volunteers to go with her, so they might be bonded to the Chroin as she was.”

  A murmur rippled through the crowd, and people shifted uncomfortably.

  “Folks,” Aldone shouted to the crowd, “we need her help. We need your help. The honest truth is we are nearly defenseless right now. We need more fighters. Fighters who don’t need weapons. The Chroin can be those fighters.” Aldone turned toward me. “Would you like to tell everyone what they might expect?”

  My gut churned as the attention turned directly toward me. I didn’t like speaking to crowds. I never had.

  “I…um…”

  It’s all right, Kuna purred. I’m here.

  I swallowed and took a deep breath. “Hello.” I rubbed my sweaty palms on my pants. “My name is Laure Higgins from cycle ten. Until recently, I was part of the expeditionary forces.” My hands shook as my brain spun for what to say next. “I want to tell you that this will be easy.” My voice trembled. “But it won’t be. You know it’s not. The wild Chroin who have attacked us each night are dangerous. When I connected with Kuna, it was purely by accident. That accident changed my life, and it can be for the betterment of everyone.” I cringed. My speech wasn’t going to inspire anyone. “We need to rise up to this challenge. This is our new home. It’s time to defend it.”

  “This is a chance to step up.” I sighed with relief as Aldone stepped in. “We need volunteers. We need people to go out to face the Chroin. To get close to them and connect with them. We won’t survive without it.” Aldone fell silent and looked over the gathered crowd of colonists. No one budged.

  “I’ll volunteer.” Brinden wormed his way through the crowd, struggling through the people packed together at the front. “I’ll go.”

  “Thank you.” Aldone pulled Brinden from the crowd and shook his hand.

  Brinden beamed at me as he approached, entirely unafraid of me or the massive monster behind me. When he finally reached the stage, he turned and spun, staring out at the crowd from beside me.

  “Thank you,” I whispered into his shoulder. Since my change, Brinden had become my friend. My only friend.

  “I told you I’d join you if I got the chance,” he whispered back. The smile had been replaced by stern concentration. As my gaze roved over the sea of faces, I saw a few people making their way toward us. Around them, the other colonists whispered and glared. My stomach sank. How could we ask these people to become outcasts? And yet, they stepped forward, knowing what would happen. That their species would shun them. That they would lose all their friends. That they would endure the accusations of others. They had seen it happen to me.

  Five more people stepped forward, standing beside Brinden and me. Brinden greeted them all as well, smiling and shaking their hands. I stayed back and looked over their faces. These people would be my only companions. Six people who stepped up. Six brave souls.

  Aldone’s shoulders slumped as he looked over our small group. “It’s a good start.” He gave a half-hearted smile before returning to the rest of the crowd. “All right, now it’s time to get to work. We’ve got a lot to do and no time to do it. Remember, we are the beginning, not the end.”

  “Rise up! Rise up!” The crowd chanted the motto as one.

  As the crowd began to disperse, Aldone returned to me. “I’m going to leave them to you.” My stomach twisted. “You do what you need to do. Take whatever supplies you need to bring them back Chroin.”

  I nodded. “Yes, sir.”

  Aldone smiled and left me to the volunteers. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Parsons approach.

  “I hope you’re more useful in the field than you were under questioning,” he said under his breath, so that I was the only one to hear him.

  I bristled at his words. “I’ll do my best,” I replied through gritted teeth.

  “Don’t do your best. Just get it done.” He looked over the volunteers. “
If you can’t come back with more Chroin, then don’t come back at all.”

  I set my jaw. “What does that mean?” I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know.

  “If you can’t raise an army, then you are worthless. Your alien is worthless.” Parsons turned to look directly at me, for once holding my gaze. “And you are nothing but dead weight. Worse, your presence could destabilize the entire colony.” He turned away. “I personally think this is the stupidest idea I have ever heard. Bringing aliens into our midst. You better make yourself useful, or I will personally make sure we get rid of you. Do I make myself clear?”

  “Crystal,” I replied dryly. Parsons eyed me up and down again before walking off. With a sigh, I plastered a smile on my face, hoping it looked genuine, and turned to face the volunteers.

  “Thank you all for choosing to join me.” A few of the volunteers looked at the ground or the sky. “Look at me!” I snapped, the sudden anger in my voice causing them to look back up. “Take a good look at me. I don’t know much about the connection or the Chroin but take a good look. I can only assume that, if you manage to bond with them, you will look a lot like me. This will be the new you. This is how others will see you. If you can’t look at me now, you should probably go back to your cycle and hope your decision to volunteer won’t affect how they treat you.”

  Guilt washed over me. As much as I hated their averted gaze, I understood. The Endurance had carried ten thousand humans away from a ravaged Earth. The last of our species. We had been brought to our knees by the Biphaits, an ancient alien race, after our first and only contact with alien life. Hatred of aliens ran deep. We had lost everything. Our families. Our cultures. Our homes. Our planet. How could I blame them for viewing me as an alien?

  “You will be seen as an alien, as an outsider. Your friends will leave you. The others will look down on you, even hate you, and I don’t know if that will ever change.” I sucked in a deep breath. I was zero for two on inspirational speeches. “But I still feel human. I still want to help, and right now, they need us to step up. So, I will. Can you step up, even if it means losing more than you’ve already lost?”